Life Before The Lights
by Wishi-chan
Summary: For the moment, the baby was still a part of her, something that belonged totally to her, something she had made with her most precious person." Snippets of life before and during the Kyuubi attack.


**Disclaimer**: I do not, and, sadly, never will own Naruto, as it belongs to that nice man (or not so nice depending on how you look at it cough asspull badwriting deuxexmachina cough), Masashi Kishimoto, who can actually draw, unlike me.

Snippets of life before and during the Kyuubi attack. This was written a long tome ago, and this version has been re-written in places, so if bits seem a little odd, or don't match up with the style of the rest of the fic, that's the reason. Of course, I hope that's not the case….anyway

Alrighty, lets get on with the fic!

**Life Before The Lights**

"And, of course, Lady Hyuuga's expecting, but I guess you already knew that, Minato-sama?"

Minato smiled warmly at his slightly over exuberant assistant, Miyoki. Bright, expectant eyes looked through overlarge, round glasses. The thick lenses bent the image of her eyes, distorting her slightly bulging eyes. It occurred to him momentarily that if one were to look solely at her eyes, it would seem that she was being constantly strangled.

"Yes, I did, Miyoki. Could you bring me-"

"The mission report from Abraume-san?"

She handed him the file with a gap toothed smile, returned by Minato. For all her chatter, (and her lack of respect, some said,) she was irreplaceable. And besides, he liked her chatter.

It reminded him of more innocent time, of teammates and childhood friends, who told of missions or misdemeanours and adventures that were too over exaggerated to be true. Of the children buzzing with excitement at their first day at the Academy, at their graduation, at their first mission, not really knowing, or quite understanding what was to come. Perhaps, though, it was a greater tragedy if ones so young already knew what they were to face. That they would have to face it at all.

Some people, though, it seemed, simply could not keep quiet, like Miyoki, whose need to talk bordered on obsession.

"Anything else, Minato-sama?"

"No, no thank you."

She nodded again, ginger falling on her face, and then started on her gossip again. It was one of the things, Minato thought, that he glad for, almost proud of, in his village. The fact that the citizens, the average civilian was, within reason, able to say what they wanted, and go where they wanted. They were one of the things that kept the village infrastructure strong; in other Hidden Villages, civilians had no way to trade, sometimes even travel, outside the village, and fear circulated easily in such places.; In places where the Kage held almost absolute power, with no say from the citizens who chose not to fight, but to build and sustain. Anyway, how better to stay informed of the village?

He occasionally nodded, made the appropriate noises when she stopped for breath.

"Minato-sama?" her questioning tone made him look up.

"Both Lady Hyuuga and Lady Uchiha are expecting, as well many other well known kunoichi. Do you think that there'll ever be a Lady Namikaze?"

He smiled slightly, his eyes downcast to his paper, a strange look upon his face.

"You never know, Miyoki. You never know."

***

Kushina laughed loudly.

"She really asked you that?" she stifled more giggles.

Minato smiled at her. "Yep"

"And what did you say?" she looked up at him, dark red hair falling on her shoulders. She had been growing it and it now hung just below her shoulder blades, a heavy curtain soft on her skin.

"Helloooo, Minato?" she laughed again as he blinked and shook himself out of his daze.

"So, what did you say?" she elbowed him gently in the ribs too catch (and keep, he guessed) his attention.

"What? Oh yes, Miyoki. Well, I simply told her that there were no kunoichi _worthy_ of me in this whole village."

His smile became a full fledged grin as she elbowed him again. This time it _hurt._ Was it crazy that he even loved her when she was physically attacking her?

"Oww" he pushed her a little, still grinning.

"Aww, did I hurt the great Hokage?" she teased him.

"Oh, you break my heart, Kushina." He grinned at her once again.

***

"When are you due?"

"Have you thought about names?"

"Boy or Girl?"

The questions came thick and fast, from every side. New mothers and other pregnant women offered advice whilst other, older women cooed over the slight bump.

Was it him, or did Kushina glow more than usual? Everyone said that pregnant women did, but he'd never believed it himself. Maybe it was because he knew every laugh line and contour, every expression and look, even that crease in between her eyes when she frowned and how one eyebrow raised slightly when she lied, that he noticed the difference.

Only a couple of months on and she already rested her hand on her almost flat stomach. Maybe it was an inbred thing, something every woman was born with; when pregnant rest your hand on your stomach. She didn't even seem to notice she was doing it as she answered questions and laughed along with the other women.

She caught his eye for just a second, nothing that would be noticed, even by the most observant nin, and pulled a barely noticeable face, as if to say "It's my baby, they should have their own and leave mine alone."

He grinned back and waved back at her in response. He seemed to grin a lot around Kushina. Especially now they shared their little secret.

***

She smacked his bright head lightly.

"That tickles, Minato!"

He pouted, giving her his "infamous" puppy eyes. This hadn't worked on anybody since he was about eleven. And they'd never worked on her.

"It's my baby too!" he said indignantly, though quietly, lifting his head from her belly.

She smiled, her face lighting up, a slightly evil glint in her blue eyes.

"No its not, Hokage-san. In fact, you're so irresponsible; I won't even let you near my baby. And, after all, you have far too many enemies to have children!"

He pulled a face.

"Thanks Kushina. And how can I be irresponsible if I'm a Kage?"

She kissed him quickly on the nose.

"You know what I mean. Anyway, I was just reminding you of, you know, subtlety. You do know what that is, don't you?"

Her innocent façade was broken by a semi-evil chuckle.

"Yeah, yeah. Get back to your knitting."

So she hit him again.

***

The working day was almost over. For normal people, that is. Minato was still stuck in his office, looking at report after report. Ah, the joys of paperwork.

The sun was still quite high in sky, shining clear, warm August light over the forest, dappled leaf shadows splayed over the paths and roofs of the village. He could hear the shouts of children returning home from training or the academy, and shop owners closing up for the day. Innocent sounds of a village recovering, of gaining back its skewed (damn near destroyed) equilibrium, even if shady masked operatives were never too far out of sight (or mind).

As he glanced out of the window, he saw… yes, it was, Rin and Kakashi, walking down the street. They seemed to be deep in conversation, something that had once been rare. He was glad that they found comfort in this peace, those children who had known nothing of war. Kakashi, certainly, would never have been seen conversing with his teammates for pleasure in past. But was it worth what had been lost…That was neither here nor there.

He smiled down at the, the remains of his team, his failure in the empty place at their side. Or, perhaps, a reminder of what should be truly protected, as it was to Kakashi.

And was that…? Yes, it was Kushina's crazy genin. Well, the boy who had been Kushina's crazy genin. What was his name? Yes, that was it, Gai, Maito Gai. Kushina, he was sure, still regretted teaching him the self-rule (and for introducing him to her father and his Yosh! Ways of springtime. Though, and he was quite sure, neither of them had introduced that…practical, but excruciatingly terrible lycra one piece suit. Which, knowing Kushina's father, which he hardly had, was saying something. That man had been both worryingly eccentric and "endearingly", yet quite possibly clinically, insane. )

Quite suddenly, a shadow fell across his desk, large, imposing and…fiercely redheaded.

Though he would never tell her that she was large, for fear of losing not only several limbs, but also some slightly more…delicate…things, along with his head.

"I come bearing gifts!" Kushina exclaimed, holding up two steaming bowls of ramen.

"This baby's going to like ramen, I crave the stuff!" dimples appeared on her (newly) slightly cheeks, a by-product of her a weight gain. Her features, while already feminine, had become even softer, gentler, and almost placid, while stopping short of cow like doe features, giving her a misleadingly harmless appearance.

"Thanks, Kushina." He smiled gratefully. How could she always tell when he was tired or bored or hungry, or all three?

She sat across from him, leaning on the desk, seeming perfectly happy, but he could tell something wasn't right.

"Alright, what's wrong?" he asked.

"What? I'm fine." She smiled at him, but her lips wobbled slightly, looking unintentionally wrong.

"I know something's not right." he coaxed gently "You can tell me."

She sighed, drooping suddenly. This look was so unlike her; he tensed automatically, preparing himself for bad news subconsciously.

"I wrote a letter to my sister."

Minato stared at her in surprised. Kushina's sister had refused to talk to her for years after Kushina had refused to leave Konoha when their parents had died. The woman had been a firm believer in family and clan coming first, and thought that her younger sister's duty had been to follow her away from the life Kushina herself had wanted.

Kushina continued "It was about the baby. She hasn't replied. Why hasn't she replied, Minato?!" she burst into tears.

This wasn't Minato's first experience with Kushina's hormones. He instantly went to her side and hugged her tightly.

"The baby won't have his aunt. He won't have any family on my side at all. Or yours. God, it's going to grow into an unsociable freak, isn't it? No family at all, and I'm going to be a crap mother without anyone to help me! I know more about explosives than I do about nappies! " Kushina's voice was muffled in Minato's shirt.

Minato smiled. She was stuck on the baby being a boy. When questioned, she simply said she _knew. _Mikoto Uchiha had sympathised. She told Kushina that she had been sure that her Sasuke-kun would be a boy. She was also stuck on being a bad mother, not that she communicated these fears all that often. She hated to admit her weakness in something that it seemed other women just _knew_.

He whispered gently in Kushina's ear, having no particular meaning, but generally comforting.

"Your going to be a great mother, if you'll give yourself a chance. Ant the baby doesn't need anyone but us."

***

Her hair smelled vaguely of sea spray and tea tree oil, a reminder, he guessed of her life in Whirlpool country. That was all he could think of as she talked to people that weren't him, gliding from person to person as if she weighed nothing rather than being heavily pregnant, and weighing something in the way of double her normal weight. No, that was an exaggeration, he supposed. It had, after all, been of Kushina's own admission; Kushina enjoyed her talent for embellishment to great effect. Even as he thought this, he realised that he was – probably quite obviously – staring at her, undoubtedly garnering some funny looks.

He couldn't help it; her hair was so shiny, flashing in the bright sunlight. He felt a little like an over grown magpie.

It was September now; leaves drifted down gently to make hills of crisp brown. The smell of smoke came from nearby. Someone, somewhere near, had lit a bonfire.

The wood smoke had an oak like scent that latched onto clothing and skin alike. Things were different, he thought, from the last time he had smelt such a smell. His older brother and sister along with most of his clan had been alive, for one thing.

Things were different. But he had his friends', and the village. And best of all, Kushina. So it was fine that things had changed, as they are prone to do. Not everything was right in the world. But he had a feeling, just an inkling, that maybe, they could be.

***

She touched her distended belly gently as the baby kicked out at her hand. She and Minato had already chosen a name for him, but Kushina just couldn't bring herself to use it quite yet; it was a lovely name, for sure, but the baby had been just that, baby, for so long that it seemed to her that in using an actual name for him, she was in some way letting out a secret. Sure, everyone knew she was pregnant, but for the moment, the baby was still a part of her, something that belonged totally to her, something that she had made, with her most precious of people.

And, after all, what if he was nothing like a maelstrom? What if he was more of a lazy river, like the Nara's baby? She could already tell that he would be as lazy as sin, and he was still an infant, only able to lie there and coo…or blink, or poop or fart, or cry…actually, now she thought of it, babies could do a lot of things. A lot of very annoying things that required constant attention. And cleaning. Oh, the cleaning.

It was late September, and the sun, that cast a golden warm glow over everything, was going down, slowly changing to bright orange, before, as she knew, it would go to soft pink and lilac purple, like a pale shadow on the sky.

But just for now, it was the most beautiful neon sign in the world.

Her sister hadn't replied to her letter, her baby shower has been a shambles (with an unexpected attack from a one year old girl who had a penchant for sharp things) and everyone kept bugging her about her baby's father. Why was everyone so nosy, she wondered, in a Hidden Village that made its trade on secrets and subterfuge?

But she didn't care, because for some reason, she was insanely happy, as she gripped onto Minato's hand tightly and smiled at him.

He smiled right back, his hair glowing in the light of the rapidly vanishing sun, blue eyes sparkling.

Yes, she was insanely happy. Damn hormones.

***

Death. Death and destruction. That was all there was for miles around. And Kushina was in labour.

As he made his way from the battle field to the hospital, he both thanked and cursed the gods for this good luck, and terrible misfortune, because the best, most possible, and only viable plan he had involved a newborn baby and a human sacrifice.

He past friends and students, thanking Kami that none of his family were here to see the destruction of his beloved village.

He nodded to Rin as he past her, tending to the wounded on the war torn ground, though this was a war now. This was a massacre. Not even that. There was no sense to this, and yet at the same time, far too much. If his suspicions were correct… He saw a kunoichi dying in what would have been agony if not for Rin's expertise. He recognised her face; she was a Yamanaka, famed for their mind control and invasion techniques. Trying anything like that on this beast, and the monster that controlled it would lead to something far more than a painful death, he was sure.

A tall Hyuuga led an assault of the white eyed clan on the beast, prompted by the Uchiha's. But the monster threw them all away, flailing boding thumping upon the ground and writhing in pain, little more than tiny pin pricks on the mass of the creature. There was nothing anyone could do to this demon, physically or mentally. And that left only one option.

That chakra…It was one of the most terrible, powerful, burning things he had ever felt. But mixed in with these things was the strangest thing. Powerlessness, when it was reputably the most powerful of the bijuu. He winced reflexively. The man behind the demon was winning this battle for the village.

He shook his head, ridding himself of these thoughts. This creature was threatening his Konoha. It was threatening the ramen stand owner, who made the best ramen in Fire Country.

It was threatening the weapons shop owner, his wife who made the most beautiful dresses (according to Kushina) and their bun haired daughter.

It was threatening the boy with hardly any chakra, a puzzling case of Rin's.

It was threatening the academy, and countless ninja and his ex-students.

It was threatening entire families existences', including his own. And so it had to be stopped. There was no other option, he refuted once again. Nothing else to do to save the place he loved.

He came to a halt in front of the maternal ward in the hospital war, where he had been directed by an ever busy nurse.

Kushina was in a bad way, they said, and there just weren't enough medical staff left to help her sufficiently. There had been complications, ones that would have been easily fixed in any other time and place. She was dying of something that women had been dying from for generations. He wanted to see her one last time anyway, no matter what, as that was what it would be either way.

Her face was paler, he noticed, than it had ever been before.

She saw him and smiled slightly. Smiling to the end.

"Minato." she said quietly, too quietly for her loud personality, her brash manner.

"Don't speak." he told her, though somehow, he knew it wouldn't matter. Maybe it was because they were heading towards the same place.

Then he looked down into the crib at the end of the bed. A boy. His son. Their son.

The he smiled at her, forcing down the lump in his throat and the tears in his eyes, as she smiled back.

"He's perfect, Kushina."

And he wished he didn't have to do what he must.

And as his life slipped away slowly, with red chakra all around, the death god's cold presence leaning over him, all he could see was her red hair. It was thick and beautiful, as autumn leaves over the bridge, each one dropping silently, fluttering down like tiny pieces of a day dream. He wanted to reach upwards, outwards, catch her hair, and catch her before she was gone. Pull her down and up all at the same time, was that such a contradiction? Because he wanted to pull her back to life, and that a contradiction too, when she slipped into it so peacefully, like a butterfly on the evaporating wind, flutterby, a dream, fading…(Why had Kushina faded? People like her didn't, shouldn't, because she was like the fall season, she was bright and lively, like paint splashed over the canvas, over the world, because she never, never, never, did anything by half…) The world around him was slowly bleaching out white (wasn't it supposed to go black?) and still he could see it….her hair, getting brighter and brighter, untarnished.

And when he thought of the baby, and the future, he knew it would be alright. Because he could see her already, and she would be watching.

Her arms, he saw, were reaching out to him, to them. There was a smile on her face, and he could hear her laughter.

**The End**

I just thought the idea of Kushina being indirectly responsible for Lee through Gai randomly hilarious, for reasons unexplained to my conscious brain.

Also, Kushina's sister is my own OC, although she's not important. . Back when this was first written, I had a whole other story idea going, (several, actually) which included Kushina's sister and her daughter. Be glad I gave up on that.

Well, that was it. If you feel the urge too, please review. If you don't have the urge, review anyway. Oh, and flamers will be cooked using their own flames. Or I may toast some marshmallows…In short, be constructive, peoples!


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